Day 16 3.2 pounds

It's been awhile since my last post.  I felt really good this morning when I got on the scale and saw that I had lost 3.2 pounds!  I have to be honest with myself and you fair reader... I probably would have lost more if I didn't take a break from physical activity since Thursday of last week.  That was four days with no workout.  That was bad!  After I got on the scale this morning and saw that I still lost a few pounds it really motivated me to come home and kick my own ass so I got out for my walk but I ran as well and I did the stairs a few times at the park I found around the corner from my house. 
 
I haven't realized how self-conscious I am when I run by myself.  I noticed it tonight because in the past if I saw a car coming or another walker and I was by myself I would stop running.  Tonight I didn't but I hated it.  "Love Hurts" by Incubus helped a little.  He says love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive and it did feel like that when I was running cars or no cars.

Right now I don't have specific food goals but I am sticking to the rules my friend gave me to follow:  No food after 8 p.m., No alcohol for 90 days, No fried foods, and still writing everything down religiously.  I am eating oatmeal every day also because it definitely keeps me full. 

I happen to be watching Biggest Loser and this bitch is complaining about losing 12 pounds in a week!  I think this show is valuable for a lot of people who need inspiration but 99.9% of us don't get to go to a ranch for 90 days and focus only on learning how to take care of ourselves with world class chefs and trainers. Some of us work Monday through Friday 9-6 and have a crapload of responsibilities.  12 pounds a week is great but not necessarily healthy or the best way to lose weight.  I know watching someone lose 3.2 pounds a week doesn't make for fascinating television but I for one am totally riveted by my 3.2 pounds and can't take my eyes off of it.  Stay tuned!

Day 9 293.2 Pounds

So there it is.  My weigh-in was less than satisfying.  The only positive is that I am not 300 pounds.  I don't want to fixate on the number but it is what it is.  It is too much. 

This past weekend was the AIDS walk and I walked 3 miles.  It is the first time I have walked three miles since last year's Aids Walk.  I did have a weird pain in my foot after a movement class on Sunday and that put me down for a day.  Tonight I decided to work out in the pool with my friend.  I thanked her afterward for keeping me just alive enough to not be dead.  Pool workouts are deceiving.  While in the pool I felt fine. I lost my breath once, upon exiting the pool my legs were jelly.  I welcome the pain bring it on.

I don't like to focus on negatives like my weigh-in for example.  Instead, I want to talk about the universe.  I have tested the theory that get what you ask for for most of my adult life.  I have achieved almost everything I have set out to do.  This is one obstacle that I said I would overcome time and time again and I have not.  The minute I made up my mind to do this a whole universe of help showed up on my doorstep.   I basically have a personal trainer, I have another friend offering me gyrotonic sessions, and so many of you have offered to work out with me, or go on walks or try new dance classes etc.  I am very grateful and very blessed to have all this support.

That number is coming down.

Day 5 Potluck

I told a dear friend recently that I was tired of being fat.  She responded by telling me I wasn't fat.  That is love, but love makes us do crazy things like lie to people we love!  I know the negative connotations associated with being fat and I have never felt all of the fallout because I have been blessed to be surrounded with people who love me and would never say or do anything to hurt my feelings intentionally.

Honesty is the best policy.  Let's take the negatives away and look at the facts.  Obesity is a huge problem in our country and it is costing us billions of dollars not to mention lives.  If admitting that I am fat to myself and it is time to do something about it will save my life or give me more time to spend with the friends that love me then then yes, it is time to make a change. 

Those changes are coming slowly.  Maybe today is a bad example of big changes because there was a potluck at work.  Good Lord it was like Hometown Buffet.  I certainly restrained myself but not to the point where I feel like a total success. 

I did work out after work today and had some serious muscle cramping in the gyrotonic workout.  Apparently, sugar will cause that because it collects in your joints.  Mental note: no more sugar before the gyrotonic workout because it is all about lengthening and strengthening and that will work your joints.

Sunday is Aids Walk and I am really looking forward to it because it is so motivating to be with a group of people who care enough to take the time to do something for someone else.  That is kinda like how it is with me right now I want to take care of myself so I will be around a long time to enjoy the friends who tell me I'm not fat even though I am!

It really isn't a dirty word...

Fat: n.

1. 1. The ester of glycerol and one, two, or three fatty acids.
   2. Any of various soft, solid, or semisolid organic compounds constituting the esters of glycerol and fatty acids and their associated organic groups.
   3. A mixture of such compounds occurring widely in organic tissue, especially in the adipose tissue of animals and in the seeds, nuts, and fruits of plants.
   4. Animal tissue containing such substances.
   5. A solidified animal or vegetable oil.
2. Obesity; corpulence.
3. The best or richest part: living off the fat of the land.
4. Unnecessary excess: "would drain the appropriation's fat without cutting into education's muscle" (New York Times).

SYNONYMS   fat, obese, corpulent, fleshy, portly, stout, pudgy, rotund, plump, chubby. These adjectives mean having an abundance and often an excess of flesh. Fat implies excessive weight and generally has negative connotations: was getting fat and decided to exercise. Obese and corpulent imply gross overweight: "a woman of robust frame . . . though stout, not obese" (Charlotte Brontë). The dancer was corpulent but surprisingly graceful. Fleshy implies a not necessarily excessive abundance of flesh: firm, fleshy arms. Portly refers to bulk combined with a stately or imposing bearing: "a portly, rubicund man of middle age" (Winston Churchill). Stout denotes a thickset, bulky figure: a painting of stout peasants. Pudgy means short and fat: pudgy fingers. Rotund suggests roundness of figure, often in a squat person: "this pink-faced rotund specimen of prosperity" (George Eliot). Plump and chubby apply to a pleasing fullness of figure: a plump little toddler; chubby cheeks

Day Four Uphill Battle

Literally, I climbed some hills the other night and was horrified at how out of breath I was.  It wasn't like it was a mile straight up it was a couple of yards.  We went up three and ran a little in between and it really took a lot out of me.  I thought we had gone about 10 miles but come to find out it was less than two ;).

I am feeling stronger and I can already feel my clothes are a little looser but I have a long way to go!
Monday will be my first weigh-in, measurements and picture.  I am not sure if I will share that info. in my blog yet?  It still feels a little personal!  I like to use exclamation marks to get my point across by the way.

I have always known that losing weight takes discipline and a lot of determination but I think keeping it off takes a lot more.  There are a thousand temptations a day.  I'm surprised we aren't all horribly obese in this country because even just a basic meal in a restaurant (or what I think is a basic meal!) will take up all of the calories I will be allotted in a day.

I start counting calories next week and I just can't wait!  This week I have been writing it all down so when we add it up on Monday it should be interesting and enlightening.  I set this blog up for adsense through google and I cannot choose the ads they post but I can I say that some of the products they are selling will not work.  I stand by my theory that the only way to lose weight and keep it off is by completely changing your mindset and how you conduct your daily life.  You must burn calories and eat foods that will help you do that.  You cannot rub away your cellulite with a cream or take a pill to lose belly fat fast!  You have to exercise.  You have to eat the right foods all throughout the day so your body never feels like it is being starved.  You have to be patient and realize it isn't going to melt away like butter but wouldn't that be awesome!

Day Two Feeling Good

First of all setting up a blog is like trying to get a degree... there are so many options but I only have one goal!  I have to keep my eyes on the prize but geesh while trying to find info. to make my blog interesting I have come across so many amazing blogs and now I feel like rather than losing 120 pounds I have to figure out how to be the best blogger that ever blogged.  I am not going to do that rather I will remind myself why I am here to begin with.  To MOTIVATE myself to stick with it!

First of all thanks for all the support I am getting from all of you.  If you have any feedback or comments please feel free to share.  I want to hear from you.  I know I am not the only one who wants to take better care of myself so share away!  Now there is such a thing as over-sharing.  I do want to hear from you but my friend and I did discuss all of the unsolicited advice that would come my way once I publicly announced this journey I am on.  I believe from personal experience that any kind of life change has to start from within and we have to make these changes under our own terms.  I appreciate your personal experiences and challenges but I have a plan that I believe will work for me and I am going to stick to it!

Today I am going to meet with a friend who has recently been certified in gyrotonics... more info here:
Gyrotonic

I have had two sessions and I really like the workout because it is very low impact but you feel the results right away as muscles you didn't know you had begin to punch you from your insides.  Also, I owe a special shout out to Daisy Fuentes and Jenni McCarthy for their Wii workouts.  Jenni is much friendlier as she alerts you that you aren't quite cutting the mustard.  Daisy could work on her tone she is kinda bitchy if you don't go fast enough.  Both are pretty good for at home workouts.  I know this because I have been walking around the office like Frankenhooker.  I know this is from neglect and I am going to embrace the burn this time rather than run from it.

After three weeks of consistently doing at least a half hour a day of some sort of exercise I have noticed a few things that are encouraging:  1.  I am sleeping through the night with no interruptions (except for my cat occasionally jumping on my face) and 2. My skin does seem to be less oily.

Rock and Roll marathon is on June 5, 2011 and I haven't decided if I will run the whole or half yet but either way I will be there.  I have been saying I was going to run a marathon for a long time and it is time to check that one off the list!  My co-worker bet me $100 to lose 100 of the 120 by the marathon I took the bet.

Day One

Inspiration

This video was posted to facebook by a friend over the weekend.  It is inspiring but it also was a wake-up call.  I am a 36 year old woman who also has to lose 120 pounds.  That is almost overwhelming to consider.  It is painful that I let myself get to a point where I have to lose an entire person.  A close friend of mine who has lost the weight and kept it off and who has the discipline to stick to a fitness routine has agreed to offer her help and motivation.  I have not exercised consistently in about 4 years but for the last three weeks I have exercised almost every day for at least 30 minutes.  I will be trying many different physical activities to figure out what I enjoy the most and to challenge myself.

Two things I have tried was a mile hike up Mission Trails (technically half a mile up and half a mile down) and I went row-boating and paddle boating for the first time ever at Lake Cuyamaca last weekend.  I enjoyed both of those activities very much and plan on doing a full mile the next time we tackle Mission Trails.

I have agreed to measurements, photos and a weigh-in once a month to keep track of my progress and I will post those details as well.

Today I started tracking everything I eat in a journal and will stick to that as religiously as I can so that I can be very honest with myself about how I got to this point in the first place.