Blogging is hard. With my head bowed I make this entry. It has been far too long and these are the excuses I will make which is part of the problem to begin with (all the excuses I have made). I got the flu, the worst flu I have ever had and was sick for days in bed. Then I quit my job. I had been pondering this move for awhile and was given the impetus to move on one Tuesday afternoon. To move, forward motion, leave security of a paycheck to keep my dignity intact I was practically pushed out the door by my own will. That is all I will say but it is my excuse for not blogging.
When I made this move completely out of character and with no prospects it was as if the universe grabbed me in its infinite arms, scooped me up, gave me a huge pat on the back and said "Carla I will not let you fail". "Universe!!! how will I get another job in this economy? What about my Mom? I take care of her what was I thinking what will I do!?!?! I don't want to live in my car... what about my goals will I let myself down... again?" The Universe said... "you will get a job making more money with benefits so you can reach your goals personal and financial and it will start next Tuesday the anniversary of the day you finally believed enough in yourself to know you deserve more."
So sometimes bold moves are more than just impetuous sometimes they are a saving grace. Next Tuesday I start my new job. Thank you Universe and all the angels you sent to help.
This blog is about weight loss so here goes first of all thank you to those of you who said Carla what the hell? Why aren't you blogging? It feels good to know you are paying attention. The results of my first month came out on the 28th of October... I lost 7.6 pounds and 4.5 inches total. Those are not quite the numbers I was hoping for so the next thing that has to be tackled are my eating habits and sticking to the rules that have been laid down by my fearless friend Delia who has got my number and doesn't mind calling it to ask me why I am blowing it!!! I fell just shy of my goal of two pounds a week so if I want to meet my ultimate goal by my ultimate goal date I have to step it up and lose 3-4 pounds a week.
Observations so far include a few things that are hard to swallow. When you tell your friends that you are not drinking for a certain period of time to allow your body to detox and they buy you alcohol and continually try to make you drink it you start to wonder if A: they heard you when you said you aren't drinking B: if they want to sabotage your goal and C: if they need to go to an AA meeting. Please support what I am trying to do and please know that I am feeling honesty is the best policy nowadays more than ever in a way I cannot begin to describe but I think it has something to do with life being too short to not tell the truth.
I conclude by telling you about the evening I had last night on a double decker bus with about 40 other people and these guys Nite Kite Revival. I have to thank my friend Kym for sharing a love of spoken word poetry and for sharing this evening with me. These guys pick up the day... they just eat life up with a spoon. It reminded me that joy is okay and good and we need some more. Pretend You Live for a Living
So proud of you for blogging today! You are an amazing human being. ~Raymie
ReplyDeleteGreat Blog! Keep your chin up and congrats on the job! you are so brave. My one piece of advice.. Sabotage. I know you said your friends are not taking your commitment seriously, but it's not up to them to stop their habits. Sadly, if they choose to continue the partying ways, you may need to spend less time with them partying. Don't sabotage yourself by putting your self in those situations. Also, okay I said one piece of advice. The last thing.. and this is from what I read, if you don't make your goal (the 2 pounds a week).. maybe you shouldn't make your goal harder by adding more pounds to lose, which seems like more sabotage. You can do this! baby steps :)) If you lose weight slowly over a longer period of time, the more likely you will be to keep it off. OMgosh..Im sorry if I am giving you unwanted feedback. You are waay braver than me, I wish you all the success in the world. Love your old friend, Dana
ReplyDeleteRelish in what you have achieved! 7.6 lbs. is an achievement. Eating for most is a drug. It's a recovery program as much as any other addiction.
ReplyDeleteBe honest with people and let them know it is a struggle.
You are a very strong person. Shit happens Deal with it and move on.
Love you!
Kathi
Carla. First of all a want to say congratulations on your weight loss! Even when you aren't sabotaging yourself you still aren't going to lose 2 lbs a week EVERY week. There is no need to punish yourself by upping your goal to something that is going to be impossible to sustain. I have been on my own weight loss journey and I have been fairly strict on myself. There have been weeks that I haven't lost anything or even gained a pound or two; but when you are losing weight and gaining muscle sometimes that will happen. Don't confine yourself to some standard goal that someone else decided was the ideal for everyone. Just work at it. Work hard at it and enjoy the victories. Some of them small so that you can feel a sense of achievement often in your long journey to come. Just continue to be honest with yourself in both the good and bad and when you do something that is counter to your plans just acknowledge, figure out the reason so you can avoid it in the future and move on. You will reach your goal; but you can also enjoy the ride.
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